just thinkin....

     I was sitting looking out the window sipping on a cup of coffee just pondering the morning without my glasses on, when I had this thought again. God blessed me with this sight. I do not think that having to wear contacts is a bad thing, just don't ask me that when I have bumped into the couch with my toes for the umpteenth time. I was putting my sight into perspective. God blessed me with fuzzy far away vision but up close everything is clear, glasses or no. I think that is how I tend to look at life. I see things from far away kind of fuzzy sometimes and can appreciate their beauty without having to analyze what is out there. I can see my daughters from far away and be able to tell that they are beautiful young women. Then when I see them up close I can see their amazing bright smiles, deep brown soulful eyes, the shades of red highlights they each have in the sun that glow. I can see their angelic little faces. They make me smile on a totally different level then they did from far away. In that same way I can see other things in life. Like I can appreciate the local school that my middle daughter attends from a distance as being a wonderful place for her to grow and learn. Then when I get in there and bring it closer to my vision, where I can see clearly.....well, lets just say....I wish I had never really brought it so close to me. I can see clearly where all the problems are now. Where the things are that are not working and need to be fixed. How people with children attending are giving up which in turn causes the staff to give up...this all leads to my child not being as honored as I feel she should be. Just like when they gave up on my son and let him first slip through the cracks and fall far behind. It was just too bad for him. When I asked them to help him, I was told they would but instead they just gave him answers to the questions. He was not taught how to solve them. Now I am not just being a homeschool mother that thinks schools are bad. Remember I did go to school to be a teacher. I got disgusted when I was student teaching that I was told that I was just supposed to read to the kids from a book and if they got it great, if not, oh well. How is that teaching? I wanted to be inspirational to them. I wanted to instill in their hearts a love for something. I wanted to help each one explore their own desires and dreams and go with them. Now having my own children I want that even more. My daughter enjoys going to be with her friends but is really learning nothing. She used to question, read, create just being herself. Now she is not. No it is not her age. Her teacher just taught the kids the metric system. The class took a test. Two kids passed the rest failed the test. She sent the tests home (that she did not grade the kids in the class did, as usual) and told them to have their parents teach them the correct way to do the math assignment, correct the problems and send it back. No retesting. Looks like it is pretty much like when I was student teaching, if you get it great, if not... Yeah, its pretty sad. The teacher is a nice lady and it is hard not to like her but....this is my child. My precious little one I have trusted her to teach and inspire. She has taken what I see as a gift and treated it with as little care as possible, nice lady or not. Like I said before, I am just thinking here. I am not trying to write a paper, using correct grammar or punctuation. I am just jotting down my feelings that I am still feeling at this moment. I am sad that I don't see my daughter enjoying school as much as she used to. I just needed to vent so I can focus on what needs to be done next. Lots of prayer is my first action. Helping with educational needs at hand will be second. Third will be listening to what direction the Lord would like me to travel with this. Deep breath here.....I am going to go and start step one right now. Thank you friend for listening.

Have a blessed day friend~